I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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