I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
