but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
