adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
