oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
