Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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