It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
