Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
