Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
