You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
