i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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