They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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