so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
