Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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