so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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