i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
