Kiss
Puke
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
