How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
