"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
