sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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