Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
