how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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