Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
