How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
