I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
