We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
