TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
