You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you win again, gameday.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
