kristin has been a bad kristin
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
