well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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