Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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