I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
