Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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