So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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