I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
