I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
