I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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