I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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