some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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