the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
