1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
