i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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