Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
