Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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