just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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