when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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