I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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