Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
