i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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