Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
