It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
